I was up at 3am and walked to the gym! Met a few Hormelites there! Great morning and workout!

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in the Midwest...

...and on the 7th day while G_d rested, Satan created the Kardashian family.

It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.

Energy saving light bulbs are great for when you want to turn on the lights but continue standing in the dark a few more seconds.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with alcohol than Kay.

What if God had created barbecue sauce on the fourth day? Do you think Adam's rib would have become Eve or lunch instead?