Energy saving light bulbs are great for when you want to turn on the lights but continue standing in the dark a few more seconds.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with alcohol than Kay.

What if God had created barbecue sauce on the fourth day? Do you think Adam's rib would have become Eve or lunch instead?

♪♫ Everybody cut, everybody cut, everybody cut Footloose ♫♪ ~ Me, if I were a surgeon amputating a gangrenous foot.

What is about public restrooms that make people go, "Yeah, I'm just not going to flush that."?

I wish something could be done about drivers that intentionally try to hit me on my bike. On two occasions, this guy in a big bright blue Ford truck has swerved to hit me, on Cranston Road, then flips me off out his window like I did it on purpose. Don't they understand, in their puny minds, that a biker is has no defense when a 3,000# vehicle hits us? I will try to get his plate next time, but if it's anything like last year, the cops will do absolutely nothing about it.

I once dated a woman who owned a parrot. That crazy thing would never shut up. The parrot was kind of cool, though.